It’s Friday night and you just got dressed in your favorite jeans. Despite the comfort, style and shape, an evenly curved ridge appears near the back pockets. If eating a piece of garlic bread on a first date is a bad idea, then having a bad case of VPL is the biggest nightmare!
Truth be told, there’s no “Goldilocks” situation for your underwear as all jeans are not created equal. Since VPL and mismatched underwear are one of my biggest pet peeves, this is where the search for the right underwear begins:
- Best for Fitted High-Waist Jeans: The Seamless G-String Thong
Your mother’s favorite nightmare is fashion’s greatest invention. Made for the wild at heart, the G-String’s super revealing cut lets your bum earn the spotlight. As much as it looks extremely intimidating (and uncomfortable) to wear, it’s purely functional for all the right reasons. Whether it’s a high-waist skinny jean from Fashion Nova or a wide leg flare from RE/DONE x Levi’s, this silhouette fits perfectly inside an ultra high waistband without creating ANY ridges!
2. Best for Baggy High-Waist Jeans: The High-Waist Brief (Granny Panties)
Your grandma’s underwear is FAR from sartorially-appropriate, but her wisdom reaches far and beyond when it comes to being appropriately dressed. In this case, her go-to high-waisted panties match very well with super baggy jeans. Since dad jeans are SO in, granny panties complement the shape as the full-coverage won’t create any ridges or awkward VPL anywhere near your butt! If you think that granny panties are too ugly to deal with, it’s time to reconsider again. 😉
3. Best for Mid-Rise Jeans: The Bikini Brief
Mid-rise jeans aren’t that popular compared to the above, BUT they are perfect for anyone who wants to wear a waist-length tee. Since high-waist and hip-hugging panties are not suitable candidates, my go-to silhouette for the mid-rise jean is the bikini brief. Like a bikini bottom, this style covers your butt, but it has a high-cut leg. Seriously, it’s style AND comfort in a winning combo.
4. Best for Low-Rise Jeans: The Hiphugger
Remember the whale tail? *covers eyes* Well, that accidental wardrobe malfunction clearly was a trend eons ago as the strings of a thong peeked above from a pair of low rise jeans. Now that the 2000s are making a comeback, the bum-hugging jeans are about to make a mean entrance. (Thanks, Gucci!) As the queen of rock hard abs and all things cool, Gwen Stefani was recently spotted wearing a pair of boyfriend-style jeans. Rather than appearing in its traditional mid-rise silhouette, Stefani’s jeans are low, low, low! Given that low rise jeans obviously have a waistband at the hip, the hiphugger panty stays invisibly one inch lower.
5. Best for Shorts: The Boy Short
The name itself is so meta, but I can’t ignore the fact that the boy short panty and shorts do mesh together well like peanut butter and jelly. Boy shorts might seem like an absurd idea for shorts, but what makes it endearingly hot is that regardless of the rise or length, a boy short is ideal. A) If you are wearing a pair of low-rise shorts that are quite baggy, then you can let the top casually peek out for that Calvin Klein-esque spin. B) If you do choose to wear booty-grazing hemlines, then the low hemline of the boy short will give you some modesty. Boy shorts might look like the most difficult pair to rock, but invest in one ASAP!